6 Healthy Tips to Avoid Holiday Family Drama

Holiday family drama is inevitable nowadays. During the holidays, it’s normal to indulge in joyous celebrations, tempting dishes, and the company of your loving family. Although this is the ideal, picture-perfect holiday sight, most families live in a far different scene. 

Every year, we could encounter awkward circumstances brought on by old disagreements, contrasting beliefs, or persistent behavioral patterns, which might cause stress or unavoidable holiday arguments.  While we have no control over how our relatives may behave, we can be aware of how we respond to holiday family drama and perhaps come up with a better strategy for dealing with this stressful time of year.

It is crucial that this turmoil not have an impact on our kids. Everyone must come together throughout this holiday season to express their gratitude and share these moments with their loved ones without conflict. If you’re sick and tired of dealing with holiday drama year after year, this is the perfect time to put a stop to your holiday fears.

Try these Six Tips to avoid unnecessary drama this holiday season:

The fundamental precept is an awareness of yourself and your family and an understanding of the behavioral patterns that bind you all together. Each unhappy family is ultimately unhappy in its own unique way. In order to break the patterns, it’s important to understand your individual family dynamics.

1. Understand Your Expectations

Discuss your holiday plans well in advance. In doing so, you can avoid getting bombarded with unsolicited suggestions for what you should do over the holidays from other people.

• Early fall is the best time to inform your extended family of your desired holiday plans. If you announce your plans too soon, people are likely to forget them. But if you wait any longer, others will begin to approach you with their plans and ideas first.

2. Set Your Personal Boundaries Ahead of Time

Don’t wait until you’re at the dinner table to set your personal boundaries. Decide for yourself what feels good and what doesn’t, and use this as your guide for your decisions.

• Create a game plan for how you’ll establish and enforce your boundaries in real-time during your trip, then communicate it to those involved. You can always modify or clarify your boundaries as you go along, but setting them up front is more helpful.

3. Know Your Wants And Needs 

Are you tired of going to your mom’s house or your in-laws’ log cabin every Christmas? If so, speak up. Know your wants and your needs, and be firm about your decision.

• You have the right to wish to establish and start your own holiday traditions. If your new tradition is to spend Christmas with just your spouse and children, let it be. Now that your parents have had a chance to make their own memories, it’s your turn. Seize the chance!

4. Accept Your Family As They Are 

Wishing for them to be different won’t make it happen. Focus on relating to the aspects of their personalities that you do find appealing.

• If there are qualities about someone you enjoy, can you concentrate on those? We rarely dislike someone in their totality; it’s usually a few qualities only.

5. Feel the Feels

Grief and sadness might occasionally surface around the holidays. Family gatherings can remind us of those who are no longer there, too. 

• Assess your family’s comfort level; if a loved one has recently passed away, you can commemorate or acknowledge their absence. Anticipate that the holidays may be a time of longing and grieving, but that reminiscing with others can help heal your grief.

6. Compromise

The holidays are about family. It’s important to get what you want during the holiday festivities, but you should also be prepared to make a minor adjustment in order to meet the demands of your entire family.

• An adequate compromise is to be open to ideas for centerpieces and side dishes. But if you’re being forced into following someone else’s holiday traditions, resist the pressure. Such a request is more of an unfair demand than a compromise.

These are just a few tips to help you manage your time with your family more effectively, which will benefit everyone.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO GET INVOLVED IN THE DRAMA! Believe it or not, most families have holiday drama. Whether it’s an unruly teenager, a rivaling sister that is always trying to outdo you, or a demanding mother-in-law, you have the power to stop this unnecessary behavior. The ultimate combination of speaking up, compromising on little things, and a strong resolve to stand your ground can put a halt to holiday drama. Through these, you can create a family holiday celebration that your children can enjoy and your family can cherish forever. Remember, it’s just a few days. Enjoy each and every second of this season! Did you find this helpful? Check out our other blog posts for busy parents at the Confident Voice Studio blog.